“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”
Anna Freud
As we face a month away from loved ones, locked down, with few things to look forward to and little in the way of positive news.
We want to share a way to get through.
“A core of steel” is a phrase often used when talking about people who are considered tough and strong. It is seen as something to admire and aspire to.
Toughness can be synonymous with resilience.
We all have steel that we can access when needed.
This is our inner strength.
It is always there.
Some of us ignore it and choose to lean on others or avoid situations we do not want to face.
The more we do that, the less we feel able to access it.
We may even forget it is there.
As a consequence we may feel weak and overwhelmed.
Or out of control and stuck.
Often we can fall into a child role telling ourselves that others know better than we do; that we need their help or approval. We stop believing in ourselves and our abilities. We listen to criticism and allow it to reinforce our core beliefs that we are not good enough or defective in some way.
We may choose to become a victim of our circumstances, telling ourselves that we have no control over what happens and that it is down to others. We give away our power to affect change. We deny our strengths and let external scenarios push us in any direction; determining outcomes for us
Some of us sabotage our achievements through fear of change. Our situation right now is known and the future is unknown. Even if our current circumstances are unpleasant it is hard to move towards an unknown future. Better and safer to stay where we are and put up with the situation at hand.
Finally some of us choose to prostitute ourselves. We block our progress by lack of investment. This is through fear of loss; loss of income, support, possessions, status, relationships, time and health. We may also agree to partake in things that do not nourish us for personal gain. A good example of this is gossip.
These ideas are further explored by Caroline Myss www.myss.com
To learn more about the survival archetypes see ‘How to Rise – A Complete Resilience Manual’ from Sheldon Press. It takes you on a journey of self-discovery sharing over 60 tools and techniques, including meditations with purpose, visualisation exercises and practical tools to help improve your mental wellbeing and reduce anxiety. 'How to Rise' helps you to take control of your life