Sit in a comfortable place where you will not be disturbed. You may wish to keep a pen and paper handy to record your thoughts and emotions for reference and processing.

Write down the behaviour you want to change. Be specific. Remain emotionally detached.

For example: I wish to stop eating as a result of being bored.


Now go to the part of your psyche that is running this behaviour. Sit quietly and you will be able to get a sense of where this is. Use your intuition and not your thinking.


Say either aloud or in your mind:

“I wish to change the behaviour of (eating when I am bored”)

“This is because this behaviour no longer suits me.”

“I recognise that this behaviour was put in place for all the right reasons at the time and that it has kept me safe up to now. I am grateful for that protection.”

“I acknowledge that this behaviour is only one way to manage (my boredom) and that there are other ways which are be more relevant for who I am today.”

“I would like to try some more relevant behaviours to address this need of (alleviating boredom) which will suit me better now.

Always ask permission from that part of the psyche to try a new approach.


Now find the creative part of your psyche. This is the ideas part.

Explain that you would like some suggestions of alternative behaviour for the situation (boredom) to replace the current one of (overeating.)

Pause and allow for suggestions to arise. Give yourself time. Do not overthink.


Select the alternative behaviours that appeal to you the most. Tell the part of you that is responsible for meeting the need (alleviating boredom) that you would like it to use one or more of the alternative strategies that have been suggested instead of overeating because they are more appropriate for you now. Explain it that any changes can be reversed if the new strategy does not appear to be working. Make sure that this part of the psyche if it is willing to take responsibility for this from now on.


Now create a clear picture of yourself the next time you are in the situation of (being bored.) Clearly visualise yourself using the new behaviours and strategies to fulfil that need, see and feel them at work. Watch the situation play out positively. See that you are safe when you respond in this way. Notice how it feels to use behaviour that suits you, without paying the price of the old behaviour. Take yourself forward by one week and do the same. Now fast-forward a month and so on. You will be able to see and feel the positive effects of releasing the unwanted behaviour (weight loss, better body image, improved confidence, improved self-esteem.) In seeing yourself six months ahead you will experience a new version of You.


Now bring all parts of the psyche together as a whole where each part has a say. Ensure that all parts are happy for this change to happen. If you sense that all parts agree then the reframe is done. If meet an obstacle, then return to step two and repeat the process from there addressing the resistance.


Self-observation and awareness, and making conscious choices are always the prerequisite for positive sustainable change.