“Have the Courage to be Disliked”
Bruce Lee
It is human nature to surround ourselves with people who we like and who like us in return.
Spending time building a ‘tribe’ of friends we can connect with at a deeper level where there is mutual appreciation and understanding raises our energetic vibration and gives us a sense of belonging.
Connection with those people can enhance our creativity and empower us to the point that we feel we can do anything.
In building these relationships we often begin to consciously or subconsciously avoid those relationships that have the opposite effect.
In fact, many modern approaches to teaching wellbeing encourage us to do so.
Surrounding ourselves with love and light is undoubtedly good for us but, what about those relationships we find difficult?
What about the people who simply do not get us?
Those people who can floor us with a simple comment or facial expression?
The ones who can, knowingly or not, bring out all the worst of our doubts and fears about our own self-worth and likeability.
These fears are deep rooted, and we are uncomfortable when reminded of them. Most of us would much prefer that they stay hidden to the point of almost being forgotten about.
Steering away from people who provoke these emotions within us is a good way to protect the Self, but does avoiding those issues within ourselves constitute as unfinished business?
What does interaction with people who do not understand us do for us?
Firstly, it keeps us grounded.
It offends the ego.
We need ego to survive in the modern world, but we must be aware of it when it arises and challenge our own emotions and behaviours so that they become conscious.
Ego is offended or provoked when we feel that me may lose something. This may include relationships, possessions, social standing, reputation, function and even our own precious sense of Self.
When Ego is provoked, we are uncomfortable but we are reminded to remain humble and grateful for every lesson that the Universe provides.
Secondly, interaction with someone who does not like us shows us in no uncertain terms, where we need to work on our own personal development.
It is not a gentle revelation.
We can learn to discover which negative core beliefs about the Self or indeed which parts of us that we have disowned, are being reflected back at us.
Instead of becoming consumed by the emotion, we can utilise the information to build our resilience and embolden ourselves.
Rather than wanting to fix the external situation that provoked us, we can learn to examine the internal responses that were provoked.
Once again, any such teachings that the Universe provides might warrant our gratitude.
A grateful mindset that encourages acceptance of the whole rather than only that which we find comfortable, attracts abundance and growth.
‘How to Rise – A Complete Resilience Manual’ from Sheldon Press has a specific meditative exercise to help you get the best out of all your relationships. It has over 60 additional tools and techniques to help improve your mental wellbeing, reduce burnout and allow you to take control of your life.