Reframing Core Beliefs
This task is to create a simple set of positive statements that you feel comfortable saying to yourself.
Out loud is better than in your head.
In front of a mirror is better still!
Begin by taking some time to explore your negative beliefs about the Self.
You may wish to make a list of negative things that you say to yourself when things go wrong. You may also wish to explore the things that were said to you when you were younger that stuck with you because they were painful or repetitive. Writing these down may be helpful. Try to distil them into their simplest form.
Now choose the one you are most drawn towards reframing and construct a statement that counteracts it.
Your new affirmation must be true, clear, precise and most importantly positive.
Use uplifting and motivating words.
Be sure to seek evidence to support them. For example, think of a time when this belief has been contradicted by a compliment from someone who values you. Try to remember the language that they used. Try to really accept that compliment. Accepting compliments is difficult because it challenges negative core beliefs and invokes the very discomfort that we discussed earlier.
“I’m not clever enough to attract a partner”
can be distilled down to
“I am stupid/not intelligent” (defective/broken/not whole)
can be reframed to
“I am clever, creative and interesting.” (backed by evidence)
Once you have your affirmation – say it out loud.
Look at yourself as you do it and try to truly believe the words. Take them on as your own.
Do this several times and observe the feelings and emotions that come up for you.
Sit with them.
Where do you feel them in your body?
Can you name them?
Without being drawn into thinking, sense their origin.
They belong to your old patterns.
The old way of believing that supported you before you knew better.
Breathe deeply as they come up to the surface.
Let them dissolve.
Visualise the new way of being.
The you that you know is all the things in your new affirmation.
You have seen the evidence. You know it to be true.
Notice how different that feels.
Repeat your affirmation.
Affirmations work best when we repeat them regularly and weave them into the routine of daily life.
We rarely go all day without looking in a mirror, right?
Once you have done the work to create your simple set of affirmations and committed to their regular use, as always, detach from the outcome. Remember that digging up seeds after they have been planted to check on their progress is counter-productive to growth.
Affirm on a daily basis along with your toothbrushing, exercise routine and bathing. You will soon begin to see the benefits.